He came to St. Louis for his family, for a new job, for a change. He found a career and a home and love.
Seven months after arriving in the strange city where he had lived the majority of his life, his new best friend took him to see the Gateway Men's Chorus (aka, the gay men's chorus). It was that night, that he found love. Love in the form of a 24 year old (it also happened to be his birthday, so a barely 24 year old) usher in the cutest damn sweater vest you had ever seen. He had dark wavy hair and puppy dog brown eyes. He was tall and lanky and geeky and gorgeous.
He was my soulmate. He was the one I had been waiting for...
And three months later he moved in with me...
It wasn't perfect. Relationships never are...They are hard and full of tears and laughter and frustration and jealousy and love. But they persevered... They fought and talked and laughed and found common ground and learned to communicate. It took years and years. They grew up...and then after five years a little man entered their life and changed everything.
And after 6 years, something happened. The Iowa Supreme Court ruled that same-sex couples shouldn't be denied the right to marry. And the sweater vest boy called his partner at work and said..."There is a bus going to Iowa and I want us to get married. I'm bringing paperwork to you this afternoon and you have until then to make a decision and it better be the right one."
And I laughed and my heart broke a little because I wanted to marry this man more than anything, but I had dreamed of this since I was little and boarding a bus to Iowa with strangers was not how I imagined it. But this was an opportunity that we didn't know how long would last and I loved this man and I thought I'd make a political statement. And it was so much more than that....
So we boarded a bus at 5 am with 16 other couples. And after lots of conversation about whether there would be protestors and whether we wanted to risk our son seeing that ugly side of hate, we decided we wanted him there- to be our witness, for him to witness- love, marriage, commitment.
And there were no protestors. There was only acceptance and curiosity and tears and love. And it was so much more than a political statement. It was looking into the man of my dream's eyes and saying "I do." It was sliding a ring, a ring that he had been wearing for years, back onto his finger and having it all of a sudden mean so much more. It was having our son witness our love, it was celebration and laughter and cameras and singing and tears of joy.
It was being met at home at 11pm by friends and family who just wanted to be there to say congratulations.
And we said "I do" and we crossed back into Missouri and our marriage license was void. But our love wasn't and our lives were changed and it felt right and we slept in each other's arms on the bus with our son across the aisle snuggled under his SpongeBob blanket.
And God looked down and said..."It is good..." And it was.
